1 of 3
2 of 3
Jennifer Bowhey and her Visiting Angels team of compassionate caregivers. © Corey Miller Photo
3 of 3
Bowhey’s greatest challenge is hiring enough caregivers, both full- and part-time, to meet the greater demand of the area.
According to a 2021 survey by AARP, 3 out of 4 adults over 50 want to age in place, that is, remain in their current home as they grow older.
But the reality is that 75% of adults 85 and over have physical challenges due to short-term recoveries or longer-term chronic health issues. They may need help preparing healthy meals, showering safely, keeping the home clean or getting to appointments. Many older people don’t want to rely on their children, while just as many don’t want to accept that they need a little bit of help as they age.
When the time comes that a person can no longer get by without assistance, one option is Visiting Angels’ comprehensive home care, which is customized for seniors based on their individual needs and preferences. Visiting Angels serve the counties of Lancaster, Middlesex, Mathews, Gloucester, Richmond and Essex, extending across the entire Northern Neck and Middle Peninsula.
Visiting Angels can provide up to 24 hours a day of care and, at times, live-in care as well. According to Jennifer Bowhey, owner and operations director, there are guidelines for how to determine the amount of care and assistance that might be needed. “If they worry about their loved one when they can’t be there, having a caregiver 12 to 20 hours a week will allow us to come in and check on their family member routinely 3 to 4 days a week,” she says. “If they’re worried about one parent exhausting themselves caring for their spouse, we can relieve that with 20 to 40 hours a week, which will free up time for the spouse.”
Finding the right match for caregivers and clients is where Visiting Angels excels. “It’s a skill match, a personality match and a location match,” Bowhey explains. Because they are meticulous about matching caregivers with clients, it’s unusual when a match doesn’t take. “In rare cases where it doesn’t, we first see if it’s a coaching issue. If that isn’t workable, we introduce a new caregiver as soon as possible. If no caregivers fit their needs, we advertise and hire to their preferences.”
The path to a caregiving career often begins when a compassionate person with a heart for others ends up caring for a loved one and discovers the deep satisfaction of making a difference to someone who needs them. The bonds that develop between caregiver and client often transcend the job, benefiting both people involved.
Pam S.
Although Pam S. has only been a caregiver for a year and a half, her golden rule since Day One has been simple: treat clients the way you’d want your mom and dad treated.
One day a client who had memory issues mentioned that she used to crochet and knit. Although she wasn’t a knitter and the woman didn’t remember how to knit, Pam suggested they knit together sometime. That evening, the client found her knitting needles and discovered scraps from old projects, as well as two hats she’d knitted years ago and a photograph of family members wearing the hats she’d made.
Knowing the woman’s birthday was approaching, Pam decided to use some of the yarn scraps to make a gift for her. After looking at patterns, Pam chose to make a shoulder shawl in a pattern called “Lapping Waves,” a nod to the waterfront view the woman had enjoyed for years. She designed it to look like the river, going from the tan of sand to light blue to dark blue. Pam worked on it at home, determined to finish it before the client’s birthday.
Hours before arriving the next day, she learned that the woman’s entire family had contracted COVID and would be unable to visit. Determined to still make her client’s day special, Pam went into action. Although she didn’t have time to bake, she bought cupcakes, flowers and a birthday card. In lieu of a party, she brought along her iPad for a video call with the entire family. Then the deliveries began. First came a Gerbera daisy arrangement from the woman’s son. Next came a pizza from the restaurant that used to be a favorite of the client and her late husband. Written inside the pizza box lid were birthday greetings from the entire family.
To round out the party, Pam initiated the video call, gave the client her birthday shawl and took photos. “It turned into a bawling, happy lovefest,” Pam recalls of the woman’s birthday celebration. “Her memory comes and goes, but she was so happy that day and I’ll always treasure that joy.”
Pam’s skill at caregiving began young. “I had baby dolls, a baby brother and a sick grandmother, plus I babysat and I’m a mom of four,” she says. “When my dad went through cancer, I saw what was necessary and learned a lot. It came naturally.” She sees her role as multi-faceted, from involving clients with arts and crafts to keep them engaged to preparing meals to coming up with creative ways to get them to do the things their doctors have prescribed.
But it’s the relationships that mean the most to her. By getting to know clients, she’s able to pick up on changes in behavior or health signs that alert families that there’s a need for medical attention. “I’m the family’s eyes because I see changes that they can’t pick up on, even with a daily phone call,” she says. “I try to cheer up my clients and always leave them on a positive note.”
Mosa B.
Mosa B.’s life path was set when she was 13 years old and her aunt, who lived with her family, got sick. Mosa became her caregiver and now sees that time as having put a passion in her for caregiving.
In her senior year of high school, she took a caregiving course to supplement what she’d learned on her own. When her son was born with medical issues, she took off work to care for him until he was well enough to go to school. Thirteen years ago, she went back to working for Visiting Angels and never looked back.
Bill, a former doctor at VCU Medical Center, was Mosa B.’s first Alzheimer’s client. Working with him Mondays through Saturdays, they soon bonded, feeling like good friends rather than client and caregiver. His widow and Mosa remain friends to this day. “We went everywhere together,” she recalls fondly. “They took me to Costa Rica for two weeks and I’d never been out of the country before.” In fact, it was the first time Visiting Angels had let any of their caregivers accompany a client on a trip.
Like many clients, Bill initially didn’t want a caregiver. He had a deaf dog, so he stipulated that any caregiver had to learn sign language. Mosa caught on quickly and was able to communicate with the dog easily. It was Bill who taught her the importance of investing, resulting in her buying her own home. When she arrived at their house one day with a swollen face, he insisted she go immediately for medical care, only to learn she’d had a heart attack. “Bill never forgot about me. We’d be in a store, and he’d turn to his wife and ask where I was,” she says with a laugh. “I stayed with him for 5 years and we became a family. We called ourselves the three amigos.”
When Bill died, Mosa was grief-stricken. She spoke at his funeral and continues to visit his widow as often as she can. Because Bill’s death took such a toll on her, Visiting Angels gave her a month off to process the loss. Subsequently, Mosa has cared for many clients with Alzheimer’s.
Since July, Mosa has been working 5 days a week, 14 hours a day, for a 92-year-old client named Miss Jane. For over 40 years, the woman has raised two parrots that she feeds by hand twice a day. “She lets me help with the birds and she won’t even let her kids do that,” Mosa says proudly. “I put a positive spell on people.” Mosa insisted on training her weekend replacement, going through several caregivers until both she and Miss Jane were satisfied.
Mosa makes all Miss Jane’s meals, but she also likes to surprise her on occasion. While taking her to the doctor one day, Mosa suggested McDonald’s for lunch. It was Miss Jane’s first-ever visit to the fast-food chain. “I gave her an experience. She said that chicken sandwich was so good, she even told her kids she’d had McDonald’s,” Mosa says. “I smiled all night long because I’d given her something she’d never had before. That feels good.”
Donnie P.
Donnie P. was once an auto mechanic whose goal was to become a member of the local rescue squad.
Then his dad got sick, and Donnie and his sister spent 10 years caring for him until his death. When he tried returning to being a mechanic, he found he didn’t enjoy it anymore. “Because I’d gotten used to helping people and I love putting a smile on their face,” he says.
As an Army veteran, Donnie is drawn to clients who are also vets. He finds it especially meaningful to give back to those who paved the way for him to serve. “It creates a bond because we can relate to each other,” he explains of building trust with his clients early on. “I get to hear some of their experiences that they’ve rarely talked about before. Sometimes their kids say they’ve never talked about these things to them.”
When he was a caregiver to a retired Marine colonel who had occasional moments of upset due to dementia, Donnie knew how to handle him. “I’d shout, ‘Hey, marine!’ and he’d straighten right up,” he laughs. Humor is essential to Donnie’s caregiving practice. He recalls Mr. Raymond, a 5-days-a-week client of his for several years who had a smile that wouldn’t quit. “We’d crack jokes and pull pranks on each other,” he says. “My goal is to make a game of life.”
Raymond’s first wife—he was on his third wife, having outlived the first two—had been buried at Arlington National Cemetery, “holding Raymond’s spot,” as Donnie puts it. When Mr. Raymond passed away 2 months shy of his 102nd birthday, his family asked Donnie to be part of the service. And while he’d attended funerals at Arlington, he’d never been part of one. “It was a high honor for any person, especially a vet like me,” he says with pride.
Helping clients stay in their own homes as they face the complications of aging gives Donnie a huge sense of satisfaction. Whether it’s a new case or one of his regular clients, his motivation begins with thinking about who he can help that day. “Knowing the challenges my clients face is what helps me,” he explains. “Lots of times, we’re the only family they have, either because their family doesn’t live here, or they just can’t be involved in their care. We’re their advocate when no one else is.”
In addition to caregiving, Donnie also trains new Visiting Angels. “I tell them that they have to start with a caring heart and build from there,” he insists. “If you’re in it for a paycheck, this is not the right job for you.”
He’s also in it for the long haul, citing caregivers in their late 70s and one in their early 80s who, like him, continue because they enjoy it so much. “Visiting Angels has allowed me and my fellow caregivers to have these experiences. It takes a team of good people to do what we do,” Donnie says. “Keeping busy keeps you healthy and young. Besides, I don’t consider this a job.”
Because many of their caregivers have been with Visiting Angels for years, they’re in high demand. Bowhey’s greatest challenge is hiring enough caregivers, both full- and part-time, to meet the greater demand of the area. An unexpected side benefit of COVID has been the number of people eager to shift career focus to train for a more meaningful job that serves the community, an apt description for the caregivers of Visiting Angels.
There are few job benefits that compare to that of feeling truly appreciated and valued. “She knows what I want before I tell her,” Miss Jane says of Mosa B. as they sit enjoying the view of the Bay from her expansive windows. “We’re very close.”
Visiting Angels Kilmarnock • 804-435-2229 I Visiting Angels Williamsburg • 757-599-4145 I visitingangels.com